Feel Better Tools: Do the Next Right Thing
Is this advice from a kids’ movie?
Why, yes. Yes, it is. But a lot of kids’ movies have some pretty good advice. In this case, one of the main characters from Frozen 2 is dealing with some pretty dark feelings. She’s feeling lonely, isolated, and more than a little hopeless. That’s something most people can relate to, no matter your age. And the advice from this particular song, Do the Next Right Thing, is better than you might think. Sometimes doing the next right thing for you is the difference between moving forward with life and getting stuck further in a dark place.
I find this particularly applicable with my autistic and ADHDer clients (and even for myself), especially when executive functioning issues get us down. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck and unable to move forward, this might be good advice for you as well. All you need to do is the Next Right Thing, whatever that means for you. While that can seem impossible when things are tough, there are ways to make this advice even easier. Let’s talk about how you can incorporate doing the Next Right Thing as a tool to feel better quicker.
What does doing the Next Right Thing look like?
When you’re stalling out because you’re going through a rough patch or just can’t get started on a task, the first thing you can do is break the task down into pieces. And I’m talking tiny, itty-bitty pieces. Parts that seem absolutely silly to write down. That will look different depending on the situation you’re in. Some days, things aren’t so bad so the tasks will simply be broken down into manageable pieces. Other days, you might look at the list of usually-manageable items and feel even worse. Those are the days you go with teeny-tiny pieces. I’ll give you an example.
Let’s say you’re having a particularly shitty day. Things don’t seem to be going right, and you still need to figure out what you’re going to be eating for dinner, you need to feed the cat, and you need to get ready for bed, which right now feels absolutely insurmountable. Break it all down. Because it’s a super shitty day, you’re going to order dinner. That task gets broken down into: unlock your phone, open up the ordering app, pick your favorite dinner, order it, wait for it to arrive, open the door for the delivery person, sit down, and eat. Yes, I mean break things down that small. And if that feels too big, go even smaller. There’s no shame in needing to take your time and move one step at a time.
Preparing for next time
One of the best methods of knowing the Next Right Thing is making a few lists when you’re feeling okay for when you’re not feeling so well. Keep the steps for your normal morning and nighttime routines, (broken down into VERY small pieces), in the notes app in your phone, as well as any other regular routines you might have. It might seem silly, but you’ll have an easier time next time you need to break things down into the Next Right Thing. You can also set up lists of feel-good things so you engage in happy-making stuff during your down time instead of doom-scrolling.
Some days are going to be shitty. That’s a given. But you don’t have to flail and flounder your way through them. You can have tools in your belt that help you move through those days and into the better ones. Doing the Next Right Thing, even if it was inspired by a kids’ movie, is one of those excellent tools.
