Feel Better Tools: Scheduling Emotional Outlets

Did you just suggest that I “schedule” my emotions?

Yup. The world is rough. And we are all busy. We need to take care of work, school, our kids, our pets, our community, maybe even our parents. And trust me, I’ve been there. It seems like you just need to shove it down and keep it moving. There’s too much going on in the world, at your job, in your home. We want to be there for everyone. But first we need to be there for ourselves.

One of the most important ways you can be there for yourself is by giving yourself the space to feel everything that you’re feeling. When you take the time to feel your emotions fully, you have a better chance of actually finding and dealing with the problem at its source. That can take a lot of different forms, and I’ll give you a few ideas of how to do that throughout this post.

Setting aside some anxiety time

As the world gets messier, our level of anxiety increases. Especially if you’re a particularly empathetic or compassionate person. So how do we cope? By planning out your anxious time. This has been a tactic I’ve recommended to clients for a long time, and it’s more useful than ever. There are two main methods I like to suggest that serve different purposes.

First, if you notice that the news, social media, your mom, or some other source in particular is causing you anxiety, turn off notifications for whatever app is relevant and only look when you are in a more calm, collected place. For the news and social media, that might mean daily check-ins instead of nonstop doomscrolling or sticking to only one reliable source of news that updates less frequently. For conversations with your mom or another relationship that needs some space, there might be a time of day that’s less stressful for you and therefore less likely to be an anxious moment, (and as a bonus, this one will help improve your relationship too).

Second, if your anxiety is the type that involves your ever-growing to-do list, I’ve got a solution for how you can schedule that anxiety out too. Write down all of the to-do stuff in your head. Once it’s done swirling around in there, it will look much more manageable. Next, break down each task into very reasonable items that can be checked off. Finally, for the biggest and most anxiety-provoking tasks, write a date when you’re allowed to think about the task. When there are a lot of things on your plate, it can be hard to pinpoint the next most important thing to do. Then you start freaking out about all of it. When you set a date when you’re allowed to start thinking about (and being anxious about) a task, it clears up more headspace for the things that actually need to get done first.

Make an appointment to cry

If you walk around sobbing all of the time, you’re probably not going to get much done. But let’s be real here: there’s a lot to be sad about. And just like any emotion, if you don’t get that sadness out, you will end up sobbing all of the time. So my suggestion is making some time each week or maybe even every day to just cry it out. Watch some really sad episodes of Bluey. Go find the videos of the dogs seeing their owners again after a long time away. If you really want to get deep into the tears, rent Homeward Bound (or any of the many films that scarred millennial children).

Importantly, this one doesn’t just end with crying though. You also need to be there for yourself. Hug yourself. Make a nest of blankets and pillows. Create an epic fort in your living room because you’re an adult and you can. Have a big bowl of ice cream after the tears have dried. Remind yourself that you can keep going, but it’s okay to not feel okay all of the time. It’s okay not to be the strongest, bravest, best person. It’s okay to just be.

Take time to laugh

This one might be the hardest one, especially when the world feels heavy. But joy is a revolution. Laughter in the face of adversity is a revelation. Your happiness can be a huge force for good. So if you gain nothing else from this post, I hope it’s this: take the time to laugh. Really laugh. Belly laugh. Laugh like a kid surrounded by bubbles. Hell, surround yourself with bubbles and laugh!

You deserve the comfort of joy, happiness, and laughter. Even when times are tough. Without laughter and hope, we cannot move forward. Send that funny meme to your family chat. Go see a hilarious movie with your best friend. Have a dance party with your kids in your living room and make up silly moves. Just take the time to laugh.